Sexual Reciprocation

[Dick Spit No. 2019-03] In this article I talk briefly about sexual reciprocation with regard to sexual roles and sexual acts.

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Whether you’re in a “fuck-buddy” or a friends-with-benefits relationship, or perhaps in an intimate and committed relationship, I believe it’s always best for each person in the relationship to clearly establish what it is that either person in the relationship will do and won’t do sexually. I prefer to believe that each sexually active person either has certain limits, tolerances, and/or a measure or degree of comfort regarding the sexual role they play as well as the kind of sexual acts they will perform or will have performed on them. Of course, no person should ever be forced or coerced into doing anything sexual which they either do not want to do or which they feel – or would or might feel uncomfortable with doing to someone else or with having done to themselves.

I also believe in giving or allowing a person the opportunity to return the sexual favor I  performed (or which that person had performed on me) and to do so of their own volition or if so asked. I call this sexual reciprocation or sexual reciprocating. In my opinion, mutual reciprocation is an important element in any sexual relationshipThis is where openly communicating with one’s partner comes in; where you and your partner determine what sexual role will be played, by whom, for how long, etc, and/or what sexual act(s) will be allowed or not allowed, and to what extent. You and your partner can determine whether or not the sexual roles can or will be reversed and if certain sexual act(s) can, will, or should be returned in kind. If while having sex, a partner says no to anything, then you should accept that person’s answer and, if necessary, make a mental note to discuss the matter later (assuming your partner is willing), after the sex you’re having is over.

sexreciprocation art-3If you are a “go-with-the-flow” in bed kind of guy and not (what I’d call) an only” kind of guy in bed (with the word “only” meaning that you “only top” or that you “only bottom”), then this article may appeal to you, otherwise it may not. (No shade or disrespect to those gay, bisexual, and SGL (same-gender loving) male readers who are “top only” or “bottom only” kind of guys. To be honest, you wouldn’t be my type.)

As most of you know, when it comes to male-on-male anal coitus (anal intercourse), there are men who either are – or who prefer – the sexual role of being the top (aka the penetrator), or the bottom (aka the penetrated), as well as men who are simply versatile (meaning, with regard to sexual roles, they “go with the flow” during sex…meaning, they can be either the top or the bottom in male-to-male anal coitus). Some men consider themselves as simply sexual versatile when it comes to male-to-male anal coitus while other men who are versatile get a bit more specific when describing their sexual roles. Such versatile men may consider themselves as being a versatile-top. This simply means that while such men enjoy playing the role of the top, sometimes they may prefer to bottom. Other versatile men may consider themselves as being a versatile-bottom. This simply means that while such men enjoy playing the role of the bottom, sometimes they may prefer to top.

As a sexually versatile man myself (versatile bottom, to be specific), reciprocation of sexual roles – like sexual acts, is important to me. In other words, there may be times when I do not want to bottom. Communicating this to an understanding partner – particularly to a partner who himself is or may be versatile (or specifically is a versatile-top or a versatile-bottom), can help keep the relationship healthy and strong.

sexreciprocation art-1Reciprocation of the sexual role and/or with a sexual act simply involves each person in the relationship knowing and understanding the desires, needs, and feelings of their partner as well as each person in that relationship being thoughtful, considerate, and patient. Each partner in the relationship should try to express his (or her) point of view regarding any matter of sex; doing so wisely (and preferably) long before ever allowing four, six, eight, twelve or more months to pass in the relationship. Few people neither like nor appreciate late-in-the-relationship sexual surprises. Whether your sexual relationship with a person is classified as being that of “fuck-buddy”, a “friend-with-benefits” or one that’s an intimate commitment, there’s never any need for anyone in the relationship to be in need nor unhappy because to be such means that the relationship is not a healthy relationship.

Watch the 15-minute YouTube (safe-for-work) gay video short posted below called Versátil (Versatile). In the film, you’ll meet Alex and Hugo, a handsome gay couple. Versátil is a foreign-language video but has English subtitles. I don’t know how long the video will be on YouTube so I suggest you watch it as soon as you can. (If you can’t see the video embedded in this article then either click here or click the video title above.)

I encourage you to share your comments about the video and/or your own personal experiences related to sexual reciprocation in the comments section. (Thanks!)

– Renzo

5 thoughts on “Sexual Reciprocation

  1. In a committed relationship, as you wrote, communication between the two men is essential in order for the relationship to work for the both. Even if the relationship has definite confirmed roles, top and bottom, the two must share needs and desires. Reciprocity isn’t about being selfish or “wanting it all.” It is about making certain that both men’s sexual gratification is complete and that both are content and satisfied. My spouse and I, once we decided on being a couple, began the negotiation of “who does what to whom” with no expectations other than expressing our immediate desires. The funny thing about reciprocity is that as our relationship – now a marriage – has evolved, so has our sexual dialogue. This communication keeps us both creative and daring and receptive (no pun intended) to new developments and experiences. Great post, Renzo! Much love, many naked hugs and a gentle tug!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Very interesting. Even though I identify as a top, I try to please my partner because I want them to be as satisfied as I am. I can’t deal with a selfish lover.

    Liked by 1 person

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