National Coming Out Day

NCOD_Should never need this day (Robz Edit-1)Today, October 11, many of us observe annual National Coming Out Day (NCOD). Here’s a Happy National Coming Out Day” to everyone who has revealed, plans to reveal, or intends to soon reveal their non-heterosexual orientation (aka “coming out”) to the people who are important in their lives. It’s always been my hope that one day the world will never need to have or observe such a day for non-heterosexual people; that everyone – whether living or deceased, will simply be respected for being who they are or were, and that people will be judged by the content of their character and never, ever by their ethnicity and/or by their sexual orientation.

Each year when National Coming Out Day is observed, I try to remind people (either through my blog or on social media) who are not “out” with their non-heterosexuality to their family members, friends, and acquaintances that they are never under any obligation to reveal their sexual orientation (aka “come out”) on this particular day nor any other day. They should not feel that they “have to” make some special or major announcement to that effect, unless of course, they want to; perhaps to mark the occasion for anniversary reasons.NCOD-talking to someone I simply believe that a non-heterosexual person should only reveal his or her non-heterosexuality to those persons whom he or she knows well and can trust; people with whom that non-heterosexual person can feel and be safe with and around. I advise people who wish to “come out” with their non-heterosexuality to first and foremost follow their instinct when making such an important decision. Considering that we live in a hetero-normal society – one which has many openly and closeted bigots, non-heterosexual people must carefully consider the pros and the cons that making such a personal intimate revelation might have upon his or her life and/or on their particular livelihood.

A person who plans to reveal his or her non-heterosexuality should have a means of strong, positive, emotional and psychological support (e.g., a close friend or relative who either is non-heterosexual him/herself or who happens to be a LGBTQ+ ally or is “gay friendly”), particularity if the grand news of the person who is coming out has a negative impact. This advice especially applies to those young teens and young adults who happen to still live at home with their parents or guardians; most particularly those parents or guardians who are or who have openly expressed their non-support, non-acceptance, and non-tolerance of non-heterosexual/LGBTQ+ people. This would be especially important if such parents or guardians provide the housing, food, and/or substantial financial support for their non-heterosexual young teen or young adult.

I would further advise that everyone – particularly younger people, to be mindful in their decision to come out/reveal their non-heterosexuality. MP Sunday's Sin-2They should not base such an important decision solely on what they may have heard or may have learned happened to someone else who earlier revealed his or her non-heterosexuality. While the personal testimony and experience of that other person may be (and should be) inspiring, it’s very important to keep certain things in their proper perspective based on one’s own real world aspects. In other words, a coming out story is not a “one size fit all” kind of thing. Whatever worked for someone else who came out of the non-heterosexual “closet” or whatever did not work for someone else who came out, may not have the same results for everyone else. Granted, there are many good and positive ‘coming out’ testimonials/stories – and that’s a most fortunate thing. However, there are also many bad and awful ‘coming out’ testimonials. Some stories have good endings while others will have a sad and often terrible ending. You can watch and listen to a number of coming out testimonies/stories on YouTube and on other social media video platforms. Just “google” the term “coming out” and the search engine will provide many links to a number of websites, personal blogs, videos, and social media networks where someone is either giving coming out advice, sharing a personal coming out story, or providing a link and/or phone number for coming out support. On Facebook and Twitter, the tag #comingout or #coming_out may provide links to related content.

LGBT Pride memeRevealing the truth of one’s sexual orientation in a world where heterosexuality is considered “the norm” isn’t always easy nor will it always have immediate positive results. Such a revelation about one’s sexual self is indeed a personal choice; one which must operate under one’s personal timetable, not by any peer pressure or threats, and certainly not by any pressure which may be given by other non-heterosexuals who are already out. No one has a right to “out” anyone nor force or coerce any closeted non-heterosexual person to reveal his or her true sexual orientation.

I cannot argue that in many instances it’s sometimes better when people know one’s non-heterosexual orientation. While such a personally intimate detail should not even matter, the sad fact remains that we still live in a prudish yet hypocritically religious, and often peculiar society where another person’s sexuality and/or what that person does sexually with someone else, is of great interest. Then there are people who are bigots and in that number are those particular individuals and organizations who would try to use a person’s known or suspected non-heterosexuality as a tool to embarrass, harass, and/or blackmail that person into doing something he or she doesn’t want to do. However, if one is already out as a non-heterosexual person then he or she can neither be embarrassed nor blackmailed (but still subject to harassment) simply on the basis of their sexuality. (This would be one of the pros or heathy benefits for coming out and being out as a non-heterosexual person.)
Here are several more reasons for why coming out as non-heterosexual and living in one’s truth are important:

  • Being out with your non-heterosexuality and living in your truth means never having to live in [further] misery, shame, nor embarrassment;
  • Being out means never having to sneak around and/or hide what you say or do;
  • Being out means you don’t have to lie about being gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender – nor about anything that’s non-heterosexual about you;
  • Being out means never having to lie, justify, or even prove to someone about your sexuality being fluid, nor do you have to explain why you have an emotional and/or sexual preference to someone who is your gender or – like bisexual and pansexual people, an emotional and/or sexual preference to both or to any gender;
  • Being out means never having to hide nor lie about who you dated or fucked, nor for whom you might have a sexual desire or lust; that would include you being relieved that you no longer have to change the gender pronoun of someone of your gender whom you happened to be dating or simply fucking;
    and….
  • Being out with your non-heterosexuality and living in your truth means you’re much freer to be the you that you were always meant to be: authentic.

NCOD_Harvey Milk quoteFortunately, the number of people who either don’t (or won’t) give a fuck about the sexuality of another person is growing.  We can attribute much of that growth to heterosexual/straight people becoming more educated about human sexuality and its fluidity, as well as to the fact that many non-heterosexual people all over the world have been and are continuing to reveal – either publicly or within their family or local community, their non-heterosexuality to relatives, friends, schoolmates, and co-workers every day. There is great indisputable truth that LGBTQ+ people are LEGION! We are indeed EVERYWHERE!

The annual National Coming Out Day gives non-heterosexual people much inspiration. If the public and family “coming out” of non-heterosexuals trend continues, and if more human rights and privileges for LGBTQ+ people are allowed, and if more tolerance and acceptance is given for all of us who are non-heterosexual and members of the LGBTQ+ family, then I believe our society – our world – will eventually no longer be considered “heteronormal”. The word “normal” – as it has long been applied to heterosexuality (hence the word “heteronormal”), will be freely applied to mean and to include everyone where human sexual orientation is concerned.

Finally, if you are not out and are unsure as to when or if you will ever come out/make public your sexual orientation, NCOD_ct_thinking manjust remember that you will know when it’s time. Hopefully when or if that time comes you’ll be ready and confident to simply state – without feeling any shame, embarrassment, or hesitation, that you’re gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, pansexual or whatever (if you feel the need to use a non-permanent labelling term to identify your non-heterosexuality) or if you so prefer, you may simply state,I’m sexually fluid.” – and leave it at that. Hopefully the reception you receive after telling your truth to someone will be positive, respectful, and loving.

Whomever you are, whatever you do, and wherever you go, always be you and be sexy-confident about it all! Happy National Coming Out Day!

TRUTH & LGBT

Click here to read my friend, Roger P.’s ReNude Pride blog article on National Coming Out Day. (It’s a much shorter read. 😎)

– Renzo

MP’s Photo Gallery Slideshow – UPDATED!

The Masculine Perspectives Photo Galleryfeaturing an image slideshow of the men featured on Masculine Perspectives has been updated. (The photo gallery is updated regularly, usually after articles are published on this blog.) Enjoy the complete photo slideshow by clicking here.
– Renzo

 

I Hate Cats!

Some people like and even love cats, which of course, is why many of them own the damn things as pets. I unapologetically hate* cats! I’m glad Nature has blessed (not cursed) me to be allergic to those accursed creatures. Cats looking mean as fuckHowever, even were I not allergic to cats (a medical professional diagnosis made way back in my 20’s) I would never own a cat nor want to be around them. I simply do not like nor do I trust cats. (Didn’t I just say I hate them?)
Because I consider cats to be self-centered/selfish-as-fuck creatures, I doubt they could ever be continuously and unconditionally loyal to and tolerant of humans. Now, I didn’t need the embedded video below to show or prove any of that to me. I’ve witnessed for years the kind of cat behavior shown in the video.

I’ve had sex with people who owned a cat or two (sometimes there’d be three) in their home. Let me tell you; it’s certainly something I’d prefer not to ever do again.

AN ANECDOTE:  I recall one occasion of how annoyed I got with the damn felines jumping all over the bed and being near me and my [sex] partner while I was busy “laying pipe” (i.e. fucking, having sex)UGH! On two other separate occasions, just the cat dander in the living and bed rooms of each of those cat-owning partners caused me to have sneezing fits. And on yet a fourth occasion, I suffered constant itching as I laid in bed after sex. I remember scratching my entire naked body from my bald head to my feet. I wasn’t aware until a few moments later that my [sex] partner not only owned one cat but two – and would always allow them to sit or play on the bed. Shower Tyme-ctAnyway, the itching got so bad that I immediately jumped out of that bed, took a long cold shower, and went home. I was still itching – and sneezing – all the way home, followed by other symptoms of allergy/hay fever such as watery and sore eyes and runny nose.

The moment I got in the door of my apartment, I immediately stripped naked. It was a summer evening so all I had on that day were a t-shirt, pair of shorts, and flip-flops which I kicked in the corner of the foyer. I ran to my bathroom, hopped in the shower, and turn on the cold water. I just stood there under the cold stream of water, propping myself up against the shower wall. That cold water immediately relieved the itching. As I began to feel better from those itching symptoms, I warmed the water just a bit and began my normal soap cleansing. When I got done with showering, I took some allergy meds, made some hot tea, grabbed a box of tissues, and chilled in my recliner until I fell asleep. It took me two days to see significant recovery from that allergy. It was that bad.

Having experiences like that in the anecdote means that I will not knowingly date nor continue to date someone who owns a cat(s). It’s either me or the cat(s). No feline creature and I can ever be in the same room or home for very long, and certainly not in the bed where I’m having sex.

                        * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

* DISCLAIMERMy feelings about cats does not in any way whatsoever imply nor does it remotely suggest that I would ever harm or see harm done to a cat. Most cats are domesticated creatures. I respect their right to live except in those particular situations where they would pose a life-threatening danger either to myself or to someone else. It’s how I feel about dogs for which I have a great love.

FINAL NOTE: It should be evident that this article – like many others published on Masculine Perspectives, is one of personally expressed opinion and personal experience – mine. As such, I’d appreciate it if all the cat owners/lovers reading this article would kindly spare me their harsh criticisms. I’m aware that some readers who own and/or love cats might find the article (and video) “inaccurate” and/or offensive or even “insensitive”. Such personal thinking and sensitivities do not concern me and certainly have no influence on Masculine Perspectives.

– Renzo

Writing About Male Sexuality

[Dick Spit No. 2018-04]
Rarely do I feel the need to be ambiguous when I am writing or speaking about anything. My intent is to always be clear when expressing myself. I simply feel it is important to eliminate any chance of unnecessary ambiguity; unless of course, certain aspects of the topic about which I’m writing or speaking makes it necessary to be ambiguous.

Sometimes when I’m writing articles related to male sex and/or sexuality – particularly when the subject refers to or is directly talking about dick/cock, there are moments when I feel the use of words like “difficult” or difficulty” would be better and clearer to use in a sentence discussing and/or describing a particular action or activity related to the functioning of that particular male sex organ than using words like “hard” or “harder”.

dick (a towel origami_shaped as a penis)
Fellow wordsmiths who also write blog articles on the subject of male sexuality – and who are proficient in grammar, efficient sentence structure, unambiguous word usage, and effective word flow, will understand and may appreciate the humor behind this article.

– Renzo

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Renzo

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Here is the blog’s “mission statement” or rather an brief explanation of what this blog is and will be about:

“The Masculine Perspectives blog exists to shamelessly and unapologetically promote the expression, frank discussion, and celebration of matters related to male masculinity, sexuality and sensuality.”

This simple and clear statement serves to affirm my position and unwavering opinion (and mine alone) of what I’ve come to know, believe, recognize, acknowledge, respect, and accept as being the definition of and/or the demonstration of male masculinity, sexuality, and sensuality  at least according to and based upon my five-decade living experience as a masculine bisexual Black American male. Unless otherwise stated, this statement – like the photo content featured on this blog, any self-authored articles, and any shared blog or website postings/links, is neither meant nor intended to insinuate nor assume either the sexual orientation or the gender characteristics and/or behavior of any person other than myself nor that of any group of people so featured. Hopefully, this will alleviate any possible or probable misunderstanding and/or misperception which may be held by followers of and visitors to this site regarding the content, purpose and intention of Masculine Perspectives.

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– Lerenzo “Renzo” Nevada