Sexual Reciprocation

[Dick Spit No. 2019-03] In this article I talk briefly about sexual reciprocation with regard to sexual roles and sexual acts.

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Whether you’re in a “fuck-buddy” or a friends-with-benefits relationship, or perhaps in an intimate and committed relationship, I believe it’s always best for each person in the relationship to clearly establish what it is that either person in the relationship will do and won’t do sexually. I prefer to believe that each sexually active person either has certain limits, tolerances, and/or a measure or degree of comfort regarding the sexual role they play as well as the kind of sexual acts they will perform or will have performed on them. Of course, no person should ever be forced or coerced into doing anything sexual which they either do not want to do or which they feel – or would or might feel uncomfortable with doing to someone else or with having done to themselves.

I also believe in giving or allowing a person the opportunity to return the sexual favor I  performed (or which that person had performed on me) and to do so of their own volition or if so asked. I call this sexual reciprocation or sexual reciprocating. In my opinion, mutual reciprocation is an important element in any sexual relationshipThis is where openly communicating with one’s partner comes in; where you and your partner determine what sexual role will be played, by whom, for how long, etc, and/or what sexual act(s) will be allowed or not allowed, and to what extent. You and your partner can determine whether or not the sexual roles can or will be reversed and if certain sexual act(s) can, will, or should be returned in kind. If while having sex, a partner says no to anything, then you should accept that person’s answer and, if necessary, make a mental note to discuss the matter later (assuming your partner is willing), after the sex you’re having is over.

sexreciprocation art-3If you are a “go-with-the-flow” in bed kind of guy and not (what I’d call) an only” kind of guy in bed (with the word “only” meaning that you “only top” or that you “only bottom”), then this article may appeal to you, otherwise it may not. (No shade or disrespect to those gay, bisexual, and SGL (same-gender loving) male readers who are “top only” or “bottom only” kind of guys. To be honest, you wouldn’t be my type.)

As most of you know, when it comes to male-on-male anal coitus (anal intercourse), there are men who either are – or who prefer – the sexual role of being the top (aka the penetrator), or the bottom (aka the penetrated), as well as men who are simply versatile (meaning, with regard to sexual roles, they “go with the flow” during sex…meaning, they can be either the top or the bottom in male-to-male anal coitus). Some men consider themselves as simply sexual versatile when it comes to male-to-male anal coitus while other men who are versatile get a bit more specific when describing their sexual roles. Such versatile men may consider themselves as being a versatile-top. This simply means that while such men enjoy playing the role of the top, sometimes they may prefer to bottom. Other versatile men may consider themselves as being a versatile-bottom. This simply means that while such men enjoy playing the role of the bottom, sometimes they may prefer to top.

As a sexually versatile man myself (versatile bottom, to be specific), reciprocation of sexual roles – like sexual acts, is important to me. In other words, there may be times when I do not want to bottom. Communicating this to an understanding partner – particularly to a partner who himself is or may be versatile (or specifically is a versatile-top or a versatile-bottom), can help keep the relationship healthy and strong.

sexreciprocation art-1Reciprocation of the sexual role and/or with a sexual act simply involves each person in the relationship knowing and understanding the desires, needs, and feelings of their partner as well as each person in that relationship being thoughtful, considerate, and patient. Each partner in the relationship should try to express his (or her) point of view regarding any matter of sex; doing so wisely (and preferably) long before ever allowing four, six, eight, twelve or more months to pass in the relationship. Few people neither like nor appreciate late-in-the-relationship sexual surprises. Whether your sexual relationship with a person is classified as being that of “fuck-buddy”, a “friend-with-benefits” or one that’s an intimate commitment, there’s never any need for anyone in the relationship to be in need nor unhappy because to be such means that the relationship is not a healthy relationship.

Watch the 15-minute YouTube (safe-for-work) gay video short posted below called Versátil (Versatile). In the film, you’ll meet Alex and Hugo, a handsome gay couple. Versátil is a foreign-language video but has English subtitles. I don’t know how long the video will be on YouTube so I suggest you watch it as soon as you can. (If you can’t see the video embedded in this article then either click here or click the video title above.)

I encourage you to share your comments about the video and/or your own personal experiences related to sexual reciprocation in the comments section. (Thanks!)

– Renzo

LGBT Pride: Crushing [Gay] Stereotypes

Many straight (heterosexual) people, as well as a number of gay (homosexual) and bisexual people too, have certain stereotypical ideas, beliefs. Many from both camps even hold tall, often ridiculous expectations about how a gay man is suppose to look (in terms of his physical appearance and with his choice and coordination of attire); what he is suppose to sound like (in terms of his voice and voice inflection); how he is suppose to behave (in terms of his behavior and mannerisms, et al); and how he is suppose to have a certain level of knowledge and/or awareness of certain so-called “well-known” things and/or people in and about mainstream society (i.e., the entertainment world and overall popular culture).

The three-and-a-half-minute long (3:25) BuzzFeed video clip in this post [below] is here to help remind readers that simply because a man is gay it doesn’t necessarily mean that he automatically fits some idea or some known or expected stereotype of what general society assumes or wants to presume to be a man who is homosexual (gay).

On that note, I want to add that this video can also be representative of men who are bisexual. Even though nothing in the video makes one mention of such men, I felt that with myself being bisexual, I needed to let readers of this blog know how the video can relate to men who aren’t necessarily gay. Many bisexual men and many heterosexual (straight) men who regularly or occasionally have sex with men but who aren’t innately gay/homosexual nor identify as bisexual yet identify as a MSM male (men/males who have sex with men/males), tend to befriend, have sex with, date and/or get into committed relationships with men who are gay. Bisexual men and MSM men are also considered by society as being “non-straight“/”non-heterosexual” men.

There are many of bisexual men and MSM men who neither do everything stereotypical of gay men nor know everything that a gay man is [stereotypically] presumed or is expected to know in terms of fashion, pop culture, et al. We’re just regular guys being ourselves – just like each of the guys in the BuzzFeed video clip is describing about himself. (Besides, many people in general society already hold enough ignorance and misunderstanding about bisexuality. It’s an ignorance and misunderstanding which, unfortunately, has given birth to a number of bad stereotypes about bisexuality and which bisexual men and women often have to contend.)

The bottom line: the LGBTQ+ “community” is one that is legionwe are everywhere!
As such, we come from every background known and unknown to general society, and we come in every skin color, from every ethnic group, and from many cultures. We also come in every age group, from every sociopolitical and/or religious and non-religious mindset. In short, LGBTQ+ people come from every corner and crack of world society. We “non-straights”/non-heterosexuals simply are all not going to fit  at least not neatly, into some limited minded person’s or social group’s idea or expectation stereotypical or otherwise, of what a non-straight/non-heterosexual human individual “should” look like and/or “should” act like. That simply is not going to happen. The sooner people in both the heterosexual and the non-heterosexual communities realize this fact, the sooner we all will be able to better get along. Hopefully that situation will occur because it would mean that we have come to understand, appreciate, accept, and respect each other and our respective differences.

Watch/listen to the captioned text video. If you have an open and logical mind you should get the point of the message expressed by its participants. Better yet, you might be able to personally identify with one if not all of them. I certainly do!

– Renzo

That Moment When…

… you [riding the streets with your homie/best friend] can boldly ask another guy whom either or perhaps both of you happen to find attractive, whether or not that guy has sex with men; to then find that said attractive guy is so fuckin’ kool that he takes your question – and an added compliment about his good lookswithout offense.
That’s sweet as fuck!  If it were like this everywhere there’d be less bigotry and more love in the world!

– Renzo